


beat my heart just like a drum

by deathlytireddan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairies, Implied/Referenced Depression, M/M, but that’s not really the main point, general weirdness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 22:50:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15895740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathlytireddan/pseuds/deathlytireddan
Summary: (Phil’s delicate fairy wings are smooth and glossy, fragile and easily broken, and made for flitting between trees, not the proper flying Dan can do. It’s a sore spot between them. Dan can leave whenever he likes and Phil can’t follow.)





	beat my heart just like a drum

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. I haven’t posted in a while or written much of anything and my writing skills feel a bit rusty. I’m not sure how I feel about whatever this is. But I hope you like it :)
> 
> Title from Barns Courtney’s Little Boy

Dan is lounging on top of a mossy tree stump in the sunlight when Phil finally finds him, fuzzy, gauzy wings spread out over his back and tickling his ankles in the breeze. 

Phil alights next to him and nudges him. “Come on, get up. We need to talk. You said you would go to the banquet with me, for real this time.”

Dan groans and stretches, wings folding and unfolding as his back muscles contract. He’s often more feline than sprite. It’s always being annoying attractive but Phil doesn’t want to find him attractive right now. 

Dan rests his cheek on his arm and looks up at Phil sleepily. “I’d rather fall in a puddle.” 

Phil rolls his eyes and settles down. He doesn’t really want to go himself but he also wants Dan to come because Dan is horribly lonely and won’t admit it. 

Dan is hard to find on a good day, always staying on the outskirts of the forest and never getting close to anyone. Phil’s lucky he even found him today. He’s a sprite after all, wild and weird and temperamental and so, so wonderful. 

But mostly annoying right now.

Phil stares down at his hands, biting his tongue. It won’t do either of them any good to argue.

Dan must sense his mood because he sits up instantly, pulling at Phil’s hands until they’re in his lap. He rubs his thumb over a recent cut with a little pout. “What’s wrong, spoon?” 

“I wanted you to come with me.” Phil sounds more unhappy than he’d wanted to. 

It’s not just about wanting Dan to have someone besides him, to have a life that isn’t hiding away and trying not to exist. It’s about their world, their little corner of forest, knowing that Phil has Dan. It’s a selfish thing, but Phil has had months now of secret meetings and worry to think over and reconcile himself with it and he knows it’s natural. 

Dan looks away and makes a sound Phil can’t decipher, lets go of his hands and starts picking something invisible out of a wing, sorting through the white fluff intently. It’s a trademark Dan sign for being upset. 

“Dan,” Phil says slowly. “I just want to help you.” Dan says nothing, but leans a bit closer to Phil and holds out the other wing. 

Phil takes it into his lap gently and licks his thumb, wetting down a clump of dried mud and gently picking it off. Dan’s sprite wings are long, glorious things, trailing behind him when he walks and constantly picking up bits of dirt and leaves. 

(Phil’s delicate fairy wings are smooth and glossy, fragile and easily broken, and made for flitting between trees, not the proper flying Dan can do. It’s a sore spot between them. Dan can leave whenever he likes and Phil can’t follow.)

“I’m just not up for it,” Dan says, after a while. “I’m not ready. I don’t think they even know who I am anymore.” He sounds afraid, tries to cover it up with sarcasm, but Phil can hear it. 

“I’m sure they know!” Phil shakes his head. “You can’t hide forever Dan. I know you’re sad and I know you think you aren’t. But—but I can’t keep doing this. Waiting for you to show up, not knowing where to find you or if you’ve been eaten by a hawk or—“

Dan makes a hissing sound when Phil accidentally tugs too hard and pulls his wings away, folding them up like a book. 

“Sorry,” Phil winces. 

Dan doesn’t speak, hiding his face in his hands. He shakes his head.

Phil watches an ant walk at the bottom of the stump. The wind blows through their hair and the sun moves behind a cloud, starting the descent into afternoon. 

“Dan—“

Dan speaks behind his hands, “I’ll go with you, next time. I promise. Just...just don’t leave me.”

Phil wants to say he’d never leave, that Dan is crazy for thinking that, but he can’t. “You’ve said that before,” he says instead, and doesn’t miss the way Dan seems to wilt. 

“I know.” Dan finally looks up, his wings flapping in agitation. “I will, though. You’re right. I—at the very least I need a proper house. To start with. Baby steps. You’ll be my first guest if you want.”

Phil swallows thickly, nods, and rests his head against Dan’s neck, arms around his middle and squeezing tightly. “That sounds nice,” he whispers. Dan’s wings envelop them like a tent. 

Phil laughs wetly. “You sap.” He shakes his head and presses a kiss to Dan’s bottom lip. 

Dan flushes, pleased, and holds Phil against his chest carefully, gentle hands smoothing down Phil’s back and over his wings, making Phil shiver. 

It isn’t perfect, but it’s a start, which is more than they had before. Phil doesn’t know why he believes Dan this time, when there’s been so many other times, he just knows Dan feels awfully real and solid against him.

**Author's Note:**

> :)
> 
> [reblog on tumblr](https://mylionbabe.tumblr.com/post/177740740515/beat-my-heart-just-like-a-drum-ao3-link-warnings)


End file.
